Rom-Com/Traum Reviews (Ranking) #5

Some black rom-coms for the last day of BHM

Hey y’all, I’ve got a couple of reviews for you this week.

I’ve been home recovering from some dental surgery, which basically means I’ve spent most of my time watching movies (and, let’s be real, sleeping—mostly sleeping). Meanwhile, my entire family is in Trinidad, and while I’m slightly salty about missing my first Carnival, fuck it tho, soon come. What I’m genuinely heartbroken over, though, is missing my niece’s birthday bash. She’s having a Moana-themed pool party, and when I saw the menu... I’m hungry just thinking about it, I’m feening for a home cooked meal. They even hired a snow cone man. You can’t see it, but I just slammed my hand on my desk in anguish.

Speaking of anguish, we lost some movie greats this week—Michelle Trachtenberg and Gene Hackman, to name a few. It’s wild how these people become part of our lives through media, the little parasocial relationships we form without even realizing it. Michelle was an easy one—who could forget Harriet the Spy? More importantly, who could forget Georgina Sparks? As for Gene, I didn’t immediately recognize the name, but as soon as I saw a photo, I was like, Damn, they hit the Pentagon—and by that, I mean they got Royal Tenenbaum. Easily Wes Anderson’s best film. Film film, if you know what I mean. If I could smoke, I’d light one up for Royal and Georgina as I knew them to be. Instead, I’ll pop an antibiotic and finish this post.

Now, onto the usual spiel:

For those of you who are new, I’ve compiled a list of 178 of the best romcoms, and the plan is to watch all of them and choose my top 50 by the end of the year. I’ll randomly select 3-4 movies to watch and review weekly. Feel free to recommend some from the list or suggest movies you want me to watch first.

Movies that make it to the Top 50 list get a 👍🏾, while the ones that don’t get a 👎🏾 below their review. The place on the list is also decided randomly. At the end of the year, I’ll reevaluate the order if needed. Read more about it here, but for now, here’s what I watched this week:

Hitch (2005)

Written by Kevin Bisch | Directed by Andy Tennant

I think this is one of the movies on this list that I’ve seen before, but all I really remembered was that one scene where Will Smith has an allergic reaction and ends up looking like Martin when he got stung by those bees. As I watched, though, the memories came flooding back.

Hitch is the quintessential rom-com—just the right balance of humor, charm, and jarringly realistic moments, all wrapped in an air of love that ultimately defeats cynicism.

Eva Mendes plays the classic “love is a distraction” career woman, who crosses paths with Will Smith, a smooth-talking “date doctor” who’s mastered the art of love—for everyone but himself. Meanwhile, Kevin James plays Albert, a sweet but awkward accountant hopelessly in love with a billionaire who’s way “out of his league.” Will’s job? To turn Albert into the kind of guy who can actually get the girl.

It’s been a minute since I’ve seen a good “she’s out of my league” movie, but this one took me right back to Love Don’t Cost a Thing (remember when Nick Cannon wore condoms instead of turbans? HA!). Both films serve as a good reminder that being yourself is the ultimate flex—because fate, as it turns out, always has a better hand to play than you do.

Reportedly Will Smith’s first rom-com, Hitch set the stage for his effortless chemistry with Margot Robbie in Focus. The movie is packed with slapstick humor, dramatic moments that somehow still land, and an overall message about the strength found in vulnerability.

Do we even have date doctors anymore? Forget Hinge—bring back Hitch.

Did it make it to the Rom-Com Ranking Top 50 list? 👎🏾

🍿 Letterboxd review 🍿

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Queen & Slim (2019)

Written by James Frey & Lena Waithe | Directed by Melina Matsoukas

Most insane first and last date ever. I joke, but damn.

This was a movie I avoided for a while—I don’t even remember why. I kept hearing bad things about it, so I figured it was ass. Boy, was I wrong. Granted, the writing wasn’t very strong, but as a writer aspiring to break into film, I can objectively say that the plot, the actors, and the cinematography did the heavy lifting. You can find things to hate, but you really don’t need to—this film is already triggering enough for the Black identity as is. If I had to complain about anything, it’d be the Black trauma, but then again, they did say this was the Black Bonnie & Clyde, right? Violence was to be expected. Makes ‘03 Jay and Bey look like childs play.

Now that the complaints and quick thoughts are out of the way—let’s talk about that soundtrack. Even with the car swaps and the ever-looming threat of death while they’re on the run, the playlist never stopped hitting. Banger pon banger. Slim had that shit jumping till the very end. A beautiful nod to the film’s composer, the one and only Blood Orange himself, Devonté Hynes. And what a star-studded cast—Bokeem Woodbine, Flea, Chloë Sevigny, Indya Moore? Sheesh.

Midway through, my sister and I had to pause just to talk about how well Queen and Slim are written as almost complimentary opposites. (Good ole opposites attact). Queen has a practicality that veers on pessimism, while Slim has this untampered joy that borders on naivety. If you blink, you’ll miss the moment their energies start to blend.

I could go on and on about this film, but I’ll leave you with these final thoughts:
(1) Of course a Florida nigga with all gold fronts would sell them out.
(2) That last scene was brutal, but the legacy line made it worth the shot.

I enjoyed this movie—so much so that I had to include that infamous photo (shown above). I love photos. My life is full em, preferably physical ones, it’s like proof that we existed together, even if only for a moment.

Did it make it to the Rom-Com Ranking Top 50 list? 👍🏾

🍿 Letterboxd review 🍿

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Entergalactic (2022)

Written by Ian Edelman & Maurice Williams & Scott Mescudi | Directed by Fletcher Moules

Smoking while you brush ya teeth is crazy work, but other than that, Entergalactic is a visual masterpiece. Not going front, I went in with low expectations, but once again, I was wrong. Cudi took us deep into the Cudi-verse, tackling everything from the bullshit of corporate “creative” jobs, closure, escapism through drugs (lol), and, of course, the beauty that is New York City.

This is one of those movies you shouldn’t pick apart—otherwise, you’ll lose the magic. It’s cute in the way it’s animated and illustrated, but in my opinion, I want more depth. I was more captivated by the animation style than the actual plot.

Honestly, this would make an amazing series—it would give them the space to expand on the plot and characters. I wanna know more about Mr. Rager. (Just Googled it—Entergalactic was originally planned as a series but ended up being executed as a TV special to coincide with his album release.)

It’s a beautiful ode to dreamers and the city of dreamers—New York, New York. Even the New York natives in it—Macaulay Culkin, Timothée Chalamet, and Teyana Taylor—brought their own magic to this one.

Did it make it to the Rom-Com Ranking Top 50 list? 👎🏾

🍿 Letterboxd review 🍿

🎥 Up next 🎥: Girls Trip (2017), The Inkwell (1994), Love Jones (1997), Moonlight (2016), How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)

J